Genealogy Basics

How to Interview Older Relatives Before Their Stories Are Lost

By Monte Horton · October 29, 2026

Every family has someone who remembers the people in the old photographs. When that person is gone, the names usually go with them. An afternoon with an older relative is the most valuable research you'll ever do, and the most time-sensitive.

Before the visit

• Ask, don't ambush. Tell them you'd love to hear about the family and look at old photos together. Most people are delighted to be asked.
• Keep it short. An hour or two is plenty. You can always come back.
• Bring photos. Old photographs are the best memory prompts there are. Bring copies of anything unlabeled, and ask them to bring theirs.
• Bring a way to record. A phone's voice memo app works. Ask permission before you start, and let them say no to anything.
• Write down a few questions, but don't read them like a script. Let the conversation wander. The best stories come from the tangents.

Questions that work

Start easy, with their own life: - Where and when were you born? What was the house like? - What did your parents do for a living? - What was school like? Church? Holidays?

Then go back a generation: - What were your grandparents' full names? Do you know where they were born? - Did anyone come from another country? When, and why? - What did people call them? (Nicknames and middle names are research gold.) - Where are they buried?

Ask about things, not just people: - Is there a family Bible, letters, a scrapbook, military papers? - Who else in the family has old photos? - Who's the family historian on the other side?

And the questions only they can answer: - What were they like? - What's a story about them you've never forgotten?

Using photos as prompts

Hand them one photo at a time and simply ask, "Who's this?" Then:

1. Write the names down right away, on a separate sheet or a sticky note on the sleeve, never on the photo itself.
2. Ask where and when it might have been taken, and what the occasion was.
3. Ask who took it, and who had it before them.
4. If they're not sure, write down their best guess and mark it as a guess.

You'll often find that one face unlocks a whole branch of the family.

After the visit

• Write up your notes the same day, while you remember the details they didn't say on the recording.
• Label your photo copies with what you learned, including who identified each person and when.
• Send a thank-you, and a copy of anything you scanned. It makes the next visit easier.
• Check what you heard against records. Memories are precious and sometimes mistaken; dates especially drift. A story is a lead to confirm, not a fact to copy.

Don't wait

If there's someone you've been meaning to call, call this week. Bring the photos. Ask the names.